Applying against a relative, adult child or housemate
It's a common misunderstanding that non-molestation orders are only for abusive partners. The law reaches parents, grown-up children, brothers and sisters, in-laws, step-relatives and people you have shared a home with. The deciding question is whether you are "associated" with the person.
The eight ways to be "associated"
Section 62(3) of the Family Law Act 1996 says you are associated with someone if you:
- are or were married or in a civil partnership
- are or were cohabitants – living together as a couple
- live or lived in the same household, other than simply as employee, tenant, lodger or boarder
- are relatives
- agreed to marry or form a civil partnership, even if it was called off (within three years of it ending)
- have or had an intimate personal relationship of significant duration
- are both parents of a child, or both have parental responsibility for one
- are both parties to the same family proceedings
Who is a "relative"?
Section 63 gives a broad definition covering your own, or your spouse's or partner's:
- parents and step-parents
- children and step-children
- grandparents and grandchildren
- brothers and sisters
- aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews
- first cousins
Half-blood relatives and relatives by marriage or civil partnership are included, as are the relatives of a former spouse or partner, or of someone you lived with as a couple.
Real-life examples
| Situation | Can you apply? |
|---|---|
| A grown-up son or daughter threatening a parent or taking their money | Yes – relatives |
| A brother or sister harassing you | Yes – relatives |
| Abuse from a father-in-law or sister-in-law | Yes – your spouse's relatives |
| Your ex's brother making threats | Yes, if you were married to, or lived as a couple with, your ex |
| A former housemate (not just landlord and tenant) | Yes – same household |
| A lodger in your home | Usually not – lodgers are excluded |
| A boyfriend or girlfriend you never lived with | Yes, if the relationship was intimate and lasted a significant time |
| Someone you went on a few dates with | Probably not – see the alternatives below |
| A neighbour, colleague or stranger | No – see the alternatives below |
When the abuser is your adult child
Abuse of parents by grown-up children is more widespread than people think, and often very hard to talk about. A non-molestation order can stop an adult child using or threatening violence, harassing you or coming to your home. If they live with you and need to leave, an occupation order may also help – the court will consider their needs too, including where they would go.
Wider family, forced marriage and "honour"-based abuse
Abuse from in-laws or extended family, including forced marriage and so-called "honour"-based abuse, can be covered. If you fear being forced into marriage there is a dedicated Forced Marriage Protection Order. Contact the Forced Marriage Unit on 020 7008 0151, or 999 in an emergency.
Former housemates
People who shared a household are associated even if they weren't a couple or related – friends sharing a flat, for example. But someone who was only your lodger, tenant, boarder or employee isn't. The court looks at how you actually lived.
"Significant duration" relationships
This category covers partners who never moved in together. There is no fixed minimum; the court looks at the relationship as a whole. Several months of regular contact is often enough – a couple of dates usually isn't.
Not associated? Other options
You can't get a non-molestation order, but you still have routes to protection:
- A harassment injunction under the Protection from Harassment Act 1997, from the County Court (normally with a court fee).
- A Stalking Protection Order, applied for by the police.
- Report to the police – harassment, stalking, threats and assault are all crimes, and a criminal court can make a restraining order.
- A Domestic Abuse Protection Order, if you're "personally connected" and live in a DAPO area. See DAPO or non-molestation order.
Children applying
Under-16s can apply, but only with the court's permission. If you're worried about a child, contact the police, the council's children's services, or the NSPCC on 0808 800 5000.
How we help
Tell us on the form how you are connected to the person. If you're not sure whether you're associated, choose "Other / not sure" and explain – we'll check before drafting anything. Get started.
Can I apply against my own mother or father?
Yes. Parents are relatives, so you are associated and can apply if their behaviour justifies an order.
What about my ex's new partner?
Usually not through a non-molestation order, as you're not associated with them. A harassment injunction or a police report is more likely to be the route.
Let us draft your court papers – free
Tell us what has been happening, in your own words. We write up your FL401 application and supporting statement at no cost, then explain how to sign them and get them to the Family Court. The court charges nothing either.