My ex is harassing me – how do I make it stop?

Reviewed 19 October 2026 · Information for England and Wales

An ex who won't stop calling, messaging, showing up at your home or work, contacting you through friends or watching you online is not something you have to tolerate. The law treats it as harassment or molestation, and a court order can stop it – usually without a solicitor and with no court fee.

Is it against the law?

Very possibly. Behaviour that can count includes:

• repeated calls, texts, voice notes or social media messages after you've asked them to stop
• turning up at your home, work or the children's school
• following you, or tracking you through your phone or car
• contacting you through friends, family or the children
• threats – including threatening to share private photos
• posting about you online
• sending gifts or letters after you've said no

It doesn't need to be violent. Courts treat persistent pestering and intimidation as abuse.

Route 1: a non-molestation order

If the person is your ex-partner – married, living together, or in an intimate relationship of significant duration – you can apply for a non-molestation order. It can require them:

• not to contact you by any means, directly or through others
• to stay a set distance from your home or workplace
• not to post about you online
• not to harass, threaten or pester you or your children

Once served, breaking it is a crime and the police can arrest them. See how to apply.

Route 2: the police

Harassment and stalking are criminal offences. The police can:

• warn or arrest your ex
• investigate harassment or stalking
• apply for a Stalking Protection Order
• ask for a restraining order if there's a prosecution

You can go to the police and apply for a non-molestation order – it isn't one or the other.

Route 3: record everything

• Keep it all. Screenshot messages showing the date and time; save voicemails and emails.
• Keep a log of each incident – date, time, what happened, any witnesses.
• Think before blocking. Blocking stops the contact but can lose evidence. Some people mute instead, or ask a friend to monitor.
• Don't reply. Even an angry response can be used to suggest the contact is two-way.

See the evidence you need.

When you have children together

Arrangements for the children can make this harder. A non-molestation order can still stop harassment while allowing limited contact about the children in a set way – a co-parenting app, say, or a named third person. Mention this in your application.

When they're not an ex

Non-molestation orders only cover people you're "associated" with, such as an ex-partner or relative. For a stranger, colleague or neighbour, the options are the police or a harassment injunction from the County Court – see protection orders explained.

How quickly can it stop?

If you're at risk, the court can make an order the same day without telling your ex first. See emergency orders.

We'll turn your account into a witness statement and FL401 free. Begin your free application.